Acute Stress Response Triggered By Narcissistic Abuse Has Severe Effects on Mind and Body
Written by Narcissistic Abuse Expert and Recovery Coach Randi Fine
Narcissistic Abuse Awareness and Guidance with Randi Fine
In a world where self-absorption seems to run rampant, dealing with individuals exhibiting narcissistic behaviors can be emotionally draining and damaging. The acute stress response triggered by narcissistic abuse has severe effects on both the mind and body.
Unveiling the Narcissistic Persona
Narcissists are known for their inflated sense of self-importance, lack of empathy, and constant need for admiration. They manipulate, gaslight, and belittle those around them to maintain their facade of superiority. This toxic behavior creates a hostile environment that takes a toll on the mental well-being of their victims.
The Mind's Battle: Trauma and Emotional Turmoil
When exposed to narcissistic abuse, individuals experience a whirlwind of emotions ranging from fear and anxiety to confusion and anger. The constant invalidation of their feelings and experiences chips away at their self-esteem, leaving them doubting their own reality. This psychological warfare can lead to symptoms of PTSD, anxiety disorders, and depression, shrouding the mind in a cloud of darkness.
The Body's Response: A Symphony of Stress
We have all experienced, while in the presence of our narcissistic abusers, the acute stress response that drastically alters our mental functioning. But it is equally important to recognize how detrimental that stress response is to one's physical body and entire well-being.
According to Sissela Bok, author of Lying in Private and Public Life, "When the brain functions normally, the central nervous system predicts ahead and mobilizes appropriate action. Our sensations, physical actions, and emotions are guided by rationality. When it is stressed or traumatized, the physiological and emotional shock ambushes our executive functionality."
As a result:
Our expressive speech fails
Our concentration diminishes
Our memory is impaired
We become hyper-vigilant
We experience feelings of helplessness, depression, and anxiety.
“When a lie enters a process, rationality is eradicated. A Neural link to rationality is blocked, preventing the central nervous system from predicting and reacting according to rational."
The mind-body connection is a powerful force, and the impact of narcissistic abuse is felt physically as well. Prolonged stress exposure physically damages our bodies. Continuous activation of the nervous system is problematic for all bodily systems:
Cardiovascular System - excessive burden put on the heart by stress hormones can cause high blood pressure that may lead to a heart attack or stroke
Respiratory System – can exacerbate pre-existing respiratory diseases such as asthma, COPD, emphysema, and can cause hyperventilation leading to panic attacks
Immune System – excessive flooding of stress hormones, such as cortisol, can weaken the immune system rendering the body unable to fight off foreign invaders. Impaired communication between immune-system and hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenal axis can cause chronic fatigue, obesity, diabetes, and immune disorders.
Muscular System – muscle tightening from prolonged stress can cause chronic aches and pain that may lead to reliance on pain medication
Digestive System – more likely to have stomach aches, heartburn, acid reflux, stomach ulcers, constipation, diarrhea, and nausea. Can cause chronic inflammatory bowel disorders.
Reproductive System –biochemical functioning is impaired causing infections and disease, loss of libido, impotence and fertility(in men), fertility or pregnancy complications (in women), mood swings
For the reasons cited above and many more, it’s important to understand the impact that acutely stressful narcissistic abuse causes on the mind and body, even when we are unaware it exists.
Survivors must recognize that any exposure to their narcissistic abuser, at any time, present or future, whether close in proximity or not, whether through intrusive thought or anticipation of possible contact, will trigger their traumatic stress response.
After prolonged exposure to their trigger, most survivors adjust to the feeling caused by the stress response, get used to living with it, and don’t realize how pervasive it is in daily life. They may experience chronic depression, anxiety, somatic issues, digestive issues, sleep issues, and more disturbing maladies but are unlikely to attribute these symptoms to exposure to their primary trigger, especially if they no longer have physical contact with him or her.
Navigating the Storm
Many survivors stay with or in contact with their abuser, believing that with a clear understanding of with whom and what they are dealing they can manage or cope with the relationship.
This mindset is detrimental to their present and long-term well-being. The likelihood of suffering permanent mental and/or physical damage as a result of the constant stress their bodies are enduring is great. The human body is not designed to endure such a persistent strain on the nervous system.
Seeing is Believing
I often recommend the following experiment to my clients as a way for them to notice the mind/body effect their narcissistic abusers are having on them:
If at all possible, carve out a stress-free bubble of space and time. Arrange a temporary hiatus away from your abuser.
If your abuser is a family member, inform the person that you are working through a "personal matter" and that he/she won't be hearing from you for the next couple of weeks. Ask the person to please not contact you for the duration; you will be back in contact when you feel ready.
If your abuser is a spouse or someone you are in a romantic relationship with, this becomes a bit trickier. It may require some creative thinking on your part. Perhaps you have a "sick relative that needs assistance", a friend in need of "emotional support", or a sibling that needs "help with child/pet care".
Free yourself from the stressful anticipation of any contact or harassment by proactively blocking all possible texts, emails, and telephone calls. Put away all photos and artifacts that remind you of the person. Do not look at pictures on your phone or visit any social networking sites that could bring your abuser to mind. Don’t discuss your abuser with anyone.
Focus on your emotional and physical needs. Pamper yourself. Make decisions that don’t require compromise. Do what you want when you want.
If you follow these instructions, your stress level will begin to ease; you may even feel peaceful. You should experience a contrast between how you felt, and how you feel.
What We Know Intellectually is Not What We Feel Emotionally
While it is worthwhile to educate yourself on all things NPD, understand that all knowledge gained is through your intellectual, rational mind. Narcissistic abuse is subconscious mind control. The rational mind is not the part of the brain that is altered. We cannot think or rationalize our way out of how we feel. What we know intellectually is not how we feel emotionally. The damage occurs on a deep subconscious level that is cognitively inaccessible.
It is also important to understand that the effects of narcissistic abuse do not lessen or dissipate with time. It may go dormant but will reappear at a later date, and will covertly wreak havoc in every aspect of your life and all your adult relationships.
Healing and Recovery
Surviving narcissistic abuse requires a multi-faceted approach that prioritizes self-care and healing. Setting boundaries, seeking therapy, and surrounding oneself with a supportive network are crucial steps in breaking free from the cycle of abuse. It's essential to cultivate self-love, rebuild self-esteem, and reclaim one's sense of identity that may have been eroded by the narcissist's manipulative tactics.
Weathering the Storm
As we weather the self-centered storm of narcissistic abuse, it's vital to remember that healing is a journey, not a destination. It's okay to seek help, to prioritize your well-being, and to distance yourself from toxic relationships that no longer serve you. By recognizing the signs of narcissistic abuse and taking proactive steps to protect your mind and body, you can emerge from the storm stronger and more resilient than ever before.
Narcissistic abuse is a severe form of emotional/mental/ psychological abuse. It does not exist on a spectrum. It does not pale in regards to physical or sexual abuse. If you suspect that you are suffering it please seek the help of an experienced professional who specializes in it.
Remember, you are not alone in this battle. Together, we can navigate the turbulent waters of narcissistic abuse and emerge on the other side, empowered and free from the chains of manipulation and control. Stand tall, embrace your worth, and never forget that you deserve a life filled with love, respect, and genuine connection.
Randi Fine is an internationally renowned narcissistic abuse expert and coach, and the author of the groundbreaking book Close Encounters of the Worst Kind: The Narcissistic Abuse Survivor’s Guide to Healing and Recovery Second Edition, the most comprehensive, most well researched, and most up-to-date book on this subject. In addition to helping survivors recognize their abuse and heal from it, this book teaches mental health professionals how to recognize and properly treat the associated abuse syndrome. She is also the author of the official companion workbook Close Encounters of the Worst Kind: A Comprehensive Workbook for Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse. Randi Fine is the author of Cliffedge Road: A Memoir, the first and only book to characterize the life-long progression of complications caused by narcissistic child abuse.
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